My Struggle with Sleepless Nights

I’ve never been a good sleeper, but it worsened recently. I didn’t sleep for several days. I tried over-the-counter sleep tablets, an extra glass of wine, hot baths with relaxing stuff poured in, and hot chocolate drinks. You name it, I tried it.

I even tried that relaxation technique where you tense and relax different body parts and a whole host of deep breathing.

Nothing worked; I’d wander around the house, read, or watch TV. When you can’t sleep, those eight hours are incredibly long, and add to that all the darkest thoughts that creep into your mind.

And yes, the following day is horrendous.

Bad moods, eating crap food, craving sugar, and you can’t be bothered doing anything—and that makes you feel worse. To top it off, I know how damaging poor sleep is to your immune system and overall mental and physical health; I research this stuff all the time.

The Turning Point: A Book Recommendation

I went to the doctor, and he prescribed a small number of sleeping tablets. I eventually slept, waking up with that jet-lagged feeling. Unfortunately, when I asked for more, they refused on the grounds of their addictive nature. Instead, they pointed me to the NHS website for sleep advice and recommended a book.

I read the advice; the information was nothing I didn’t already know.

Another night came around, and I sat in the bedroom reading at 4 a.m. I put the book down, wandered around for a while, and remembered the doctor-recommended sleep book. I purchased and downloaded it to my Kindle. Several pages in, I knew this book was different; it clearly spoke about the problem I had been having and promised an unusual solution.

The Key Realisation: Letting Go of the Struggle

The book explains that struggling to sleep became the issue; my bed was a battleground, and getting out when I couldn’t sleep was the wrong advice.

I had to let go of trying to sleep, welcome those unwanted feelings and thoughts without judgment, and become more present with everything.

I finished reading the book at 9 a.m., got up, survived the day, went to bed that night, and slept eight hours. That was seven weeks ago, and I’m now sleeping better than I have for as long as I can remember.

Breaking the Cycle: A Proven Technique

Over the last three months, I’ve used the information from the book to teach myself to sleep better. I will now explain how I do it in more detail.

So here I am one morning a week ago at around 4:30 a.m., which is better than my previous waking time between 1 and 3 a.m. I’m unsure why I now sleep longer, but I won’t over-analyse. That would mean more unwanted thoughts.

I would like another 2 1/2 hours of sleep, please. But I’m being stopped by a combination of three things we all experience that prevent us from drifting off into a deep sleep:

• Sensations: At my worst, I would wake up around 3 a.m. feeling hot, and as I lay there, the heat would increase. Panic mode would set in, and I’d throw off the sheets, walk around, and try to cool down.
• Thoughts: Racing thoughts ranged from “How will I cope tomorrow?” to “Why couldn’t I have stayed calmer when I presented at a recent sports club charity meeting?”
• Emotions: The most common emotion is fear—fear of the next day, a health concern, unresolved trauma, or self-doubt. I often felt this fear as a knot in my stomach, a sensation that haunted me during my business years.

Observing the Trio: Sensations, Thoughts, and Emotions

Here’s the technique I now use:

Imagine you are sitting next to a road with two lanes. You’re up on the grassy bank, observing the traffic. The cars represent sensations (green), thoughts (red), and emotions (blue). When you’re unable to sleep, you’re inside one of these cars, jumping from one to the next.

The key is to get out of the car. Sit on the grassy bank and observe the traffic. Accept and welcome these sensations, thoughts, and emotions without resistance. This detachment allows you to move further “up the bank” into a calm field, where your nervous system shifts from fight-or-flight mode to rest-and-restore mode—the only state in which sleep can begin.

Sleep and Life: A Lesson Beyond the Night

This practice works for me every time, and more importantly, it’s how we should live our lives. Observing, accepting, and welcoming what comes our way is a powerful strategy for peace and resilience.

If you sleep poorly and want to understand how to make friends with your busy, overstimulated mind, this book is for you.

Resources for Better Sleep

• The Book: Buy the recommended sleep book on Amazon
• The Workshop: Watch Guy Meadows’ Sleep Workshop

Closing Thoughts

I hope this helps. Good luck and sweet dreams.

Tony

P.S. Do you know someone who struggles with sleep? Maybe you could share this blog.